Hi there everyone!!!
So Ive kinda been keeping a secret from everybody....
I haven't really wanted to tell anyone yet just because of how things ended up in the past and what not needed to figure things out for myself. I might not be there quite yet but its been a pretty fun ride so far. So in April this year we stopped down at Cove Fort in Utah on our way home from Zions.. which for those of you who don't know where that is don't worry i didn't either. Its this random place off the side of the road between Beaver and Fillmore so i mean yeah its like in the middle of no where.
So kinda interesting i had no idea this had anything to do with the LDS church. I almost for a minute thought this was a trick because when our cute tour guide up there in the background (who BTW still calls and chats with me up to this day :) ) was introducing everything to us come to find out I'm not a member.. so we know how the end of this tour went ha ha. He actually thought Bryce was the non member and gave him the speech and i kinda just hoped Bryce would play along and not say anything. But that's just not my husband so of course he tells him its me. So here i am on the spot in front of everybody staring at me waiting for my answer to whether or not basically the missionaries can come over again...
I'm going to pause the story here and go back in the future now for a minute.
The truth about last year lets start to May 2011 where it began. I went over to my husbands Grandpas house one day and he convinced me that i needed to look into the church so i did. I had hoped it was going to help me be closer to my husband and my in laws. Mainly my husband because i knew he was going to start going back to church and that scared me because i have had an awful history of husbands and wife's being different religions. My parents = not together anymore got divorced when i was 8 and my Dad says alot of it is because that was hard. So lets be honest i wasn't liking where this road was going. So basically I jumped in quick was happy and decided within a month to get baptized and that's where the train wreck began...
Sorry this is going to be a long rambling blog bear with me and i promise I'm not going to bash on the church lol this is just a highlight real of where things came from it gets good in the end i promise.
So basically my mom was upset because i sprang it on her. Which i understand i should have told her sooner shes my mom i shouldn't need to hide things from her. My dad was upset only because he knows Ive grown up as a Jehovah's Witness most of my life and so he thought it was weird i knew within a month that i wanted to change religions. Another point I understand. My Grandma was the worst she will not speak to me again if i change religions. Which is so hard. It really is very hard. My in laws didn't add to it. It turned into a train wreck with them over it. So i cancelled i couldn't handle it it wasn't worth it to me so i canceled it.
Now back to April... I'm in that moment.
I said yes. Most of it was everyone was watching a little of it was that i wanted to again so i said yes. So since then i have been looking into it again. My main missionary i have had since then just got transferred so now i have two brand new ones. I'm sure they will be great its just been rough because we really liked the one we had before. The first two together were perfect but as you know with transfers they come and go so since then My main missionary has had i think its up to 4 new companions and now we have two brand new ones so I'm having a hard time adjusting. I can't commit to any baptism dates anytime soon which i know everyone says pray pray pray but its just not working it doesn't feel right yet. I'm happy looking into it and Ive learned more then ever about the church finally because I'm being honest and asking alot of questions but its just not right quite yet. So please if anyone has any advice please share i need it. I'm so confused about where i should be going with all this I'm scared to make any decisions. Part of me feels that i should just stay away from religion period. Part of me feels there is something more to life. That being heaven or staying on earth. I know there is a God out there. Theres no doubt about that in my mind. I'm lost i don't know what to do. I'm at a standstill.
So that's my secret and if anybody at all has any advice please share it with me because i definitely need it :)